the bachelor' recap betches

Meanwhile, MyKenna’s anguish is actually visible throughout this entire rose ceremony. By Hannah Gold. She’s not the only one who’s going to fake an orgasm with you okay!! He asks the producers if there’s a way he can bring Alayah back and it’s like PETER THERE ARE NO TAKEBACKSIES IN THIS GAME!! Thank you, Hannah. The Bachelor season finale recap: Peter gives out final rose, all Hell breaks loose. LOL. Get a constantly updating feed of breaking news, fun stories, pics, memes, and videos just for you. I hope she’s happy with that.Â, Okay, Alayah is way too confident to be at this cocktail party wearing Charming Charlie’s earrings. Peter gives Sydney the group date rose because she was “open and honest” with him, and this might be the first time in history that a rat has ever gotten the group date rose. Kay, Chris, and Jared are back to recap the Women Tell All special, but first they react to a flurry of Bachelor Nation news stories. But it’s fine, ABC. Got it. The Best Bachelor Recap Youll Ever Read: Season 23, Week 8 Betches; The Best Bachelor Recap Youll Ever Read: Season 23, Week 8 Betches. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why … She says that she only told Hot Victoria to lie because she didn’t think that two people who knew each other could be on the show. It's hilarious. Kay, Jared and Chris start the show with a reaction to Matt James’s public statement about the controversy surrounding Rachael Kirkconnell and Chris Harrison. Yes, Victoria, please tell us about how in 180 minutes you learned all about Alayah’s innermost secrets and desires, but in the two years I’ve worked at my job I still don’t know my PM’s last name. He decides that the least dramatic way to handle this, really the only way to handle this, is to put Sydney on f*cking blast in front of every other girl on this date. The Bachelor Recap Season 24, Episode 8: Hometowns, Baby, Let’s Go? I’ve heard better excuses from the five-year-old I used to babysit when she would tell me she didn’t draw on her parent’s bedroom walls, her invisible friend Martha did. recaps Feb. 25, 2020. It’s just empty words! Wow, they are really leaning into this country vibe today. The Bachelor Season 25 Episode 10 Recap: Therapy Suites The final three women have been chosen, so you know what that means: it’s time for The Bachelor fantasy suites. Who is the likeliest to pull a Heather? The Parent Trap (Matt's Final Three) It’s down to three contestants for Matt James to … Meanwhile, back at the house, Kelsey and Hannah Ann continue to verbally rip each other to shreds over a bottle of champagne. Is this because Victoria is from Virginia? Two seconds into this week’s episode and I can already tell that ABC is going to be capitalizing on that energy for this week. ALAYAH: I can’t fake anything I swear!! He tells her that she is the only thing that matters to him and then something about her light shining and, honestly, it’s all bullsh*t. He doesn’t even know her! Related Videos. Until then! They also discuss what ABC’s role is in this whole dramatic mess before they dive into all their picks for their season awards. Do better, Chris. Alternatively, find out what’s trending across all of Reddit on r/popular. She’s like “so, Alayah do you work” and it’s like, of course she doesn’t work, sweetie. Can you clarify for us here? JUST FINE.Â, we were treated to what might be the best thing I’ve ever seen on my television screen: #ChampagneGate2020. Send to Friend. Then it’s time for this week’s Betchelor Categories, including some Would You Rather questions, Jared’s Minute, and their picks for who they want to win this season. Victoria launches into a very moving story about how she spent her youth in and out of homeless shelters taking care of her little sister while her mother was absent, and this is how I know this show has ruined my soul and made me lose all empathy for the human race because all I’m thinking is “yeah, yeah, another sob story, let’s move on.”, ME: Do I like Hot Victoria? The Best ‘Bachelor’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Girls Have Gone Wild | Betches betches.com - Ryanne Probst. KELLEY: I’m not really feeling this date. Peter is at a loss as to how to handle this turn of events. Kelsey, please never change.Â. This weekly podcast fol. Can you clarify for us here? You love to see it. 66 Tracks. Unsurprisingly, Hot Victoria scores a rose from today’s date, because as if Peter could eliminate her after hearing a sob story like that. by thebetches Follow. I’ve seen wilder things at the community pool in my Grandma’s retirement community. They cover Bri’s date in the woods (is that a tent?) We can't wait:It's official! Story from TV Shows. As the women start dressing in various states of lace, silk, and in Savannah’s case, Victorian necklines, this is beginning to feel less like a group date and more like a sorority hazing ritual that will end in one of them threatening to call their daddy the lawyer.Â. The Bachelor Women Air Their Grievances A recap of The Bachelor, episode 10: The Women Tell All. It’s the finale of Matt James’s season of The Bachelor, and Kay, Chris and Jared are here to recap it all. Then they dive into last night’s Women Tell All, starting with Victoria trying to defend her behavior on the show (with some surprising allies) and everyone coming for Katie. As someone who has lost friendships over a misplaced bottle of moscato before, I understand how this can fracture a relationship. What a shocking coincidence the final matchup is between Sydney and Alayah, whose feud in the house is only second to Hannah Ann’s with a discarded champagne bottle. Images: Giphy (6); @bachelornation /Instagram (1); @chrisbharrison /Instagram (1). SO IS EVERYONE, VICTORIA. #TheBachelor Have a great weekend. Welcome back fellow Bachelor fans to the best Bachelor recap you’ll ever read according to me, the author and person who blackmails her friends into reading her recaps for clicks! Carry on ladies. *laughs nervously* but you haven’t faked anything with me, right? Kay and Derek are the best!!! I’m not really feeling this date. She gets a crown and two minutes of Peter’s unwavering attention. Christ. Posted By John Kellogg on March 5, 2019 . Subscribe to The Betches Newsletter so you're not the only one in the group chat who doesn't know WTF is going on when we talk about celebs, reality TV, & more. The plot thickens! Watching this girl humiliate herself on national television as she drunkenly blubbered about someone stealing her alcohol is something I felt and resonated with on a deep, almost cosmic, level. Jesus. ALSO ALAYAH: But Alayah’s reputation cannot be salvaged, because just as the dust is clearing for her, Hot Victoria comes in to tell Peter about the illuminating three hours she spent with Alayah pre-production. You know there’s more to the state of Virginia than just, Bud Light and the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” bumper stickers,  you were clearly envisioning when you signed up for this date.Â, I love that Hannah Ann gets to walk away with from, with Revolve’s spring line and Hot Victoria gets some souvenirs from the local Boots & Scoots.Â, *has the life story of a Lifetime movie heroine, the cheekbones of a Hadid sister, and pursued a career in medicine to help others*, I think Peter was a little surprised to learn that Hot Victoria is more than just an Instagram filter brought to life because his reaction feels a little too heavy-handed to me. It gives me hope for the future. This is my first time watching the show, the Betchelor Pod has made it easier to understand the inner workings. Okay, damn. They discuss the public reaction after former contestant Taylor Nolan’s past Tweets resurfaced, followed by a series of half-hearted apologies for offending so many different groups. Finally, they close the show with the Villain of the Week, the Cringe Harrison Award, and their Will You Accept This Rose selections. There was crying, champagne stealing, and a grown woman taking a shot of champagne straight to the eye like a mf CHAMP. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why else watch the show if … Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and that this is her childhood trauma. Savannah, one of the hottest women in the house, gets her grandmother’s mumu while the nanny from Georgia declares she got some cute “linguine.” I hope her employers are watching this and realize that they need to get their kid hooked on phonics ASAP.Â, The lingerie will come in handy because for the date the women will head to an underground pillow fight club where they will wrestle to the death for Peter’s attention while simultaneously putting feminism back 30 years. Sydney, didn’t you say Alayah was a fake ass hoe? Lia Beck. We are to believe that this is out of the goodness of his heart and not because he would like to see them all half naked before he makes another elimination tonight. http://bit.ly/TJ1PiB. Like, yeah, that was a pretty speech and all but I’ve murmured those same words alone to myself in my living room anytime more of Jughead’s backstory is revealed on Riverdale. HOT VICTORIA: *has the life story of a Lifetime movie heroine, the cheekbones of a Hadid sister, and pursued a career in medicine to help others* New York. The only way she can come back from this is if she anonymously publishes her own burn book and blames it on Cady Heron Sydney. The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by social producer Kay Brown of Betches Media and former Bachelorette heartthrob and Bachelor in Paradise winner Derek Peth. Maybe let’s have this discussion when you get some screen time with the eyelashes and lips you were born with, mmkay? betches.com - Happy International Women’s Day, people!! And on that note, I’m outtie betches! Do any of you?? They talk about Emmanuel Acho being named the host of this season’s After the Final Rose, and Rachel Lindsay deactivating her social media accounts due to harassment. Formerly published as “It’s Britney, Betch” she’s the resident recapper for all things ‘Bachelor.' I feel like there has been a lot of drama in the house this episode. Kelsey is the first to receive a rose this evening, and it’s great that she continues to get rewarded for her terrible behavior. I love a good multitask! Watching a 22-year-old, physically flawless Instagram model understand rejection for the first time in her charmed life is truly giving me life.Â, But wait! We learn that Demi has gifted all of the women lingerie that she believes fits each of their personalities. B*tch better go into witness protection after this is all I’m saying. He asks the producers if there’s a way he can bring Alayah back and it’s like PETER THERE ARE NO TAKEBACKSIES IN THIS GAME!! First the pickup truck, and now this outing to shop for cowboy boots? The cast photos are out for Katie’s upcoming season of The Bachelorette and our hosts are reacting to every guy. Hannah Ann is crying about her ruined reputation as a champagne stealer, Kelsey is crying about her and her bottle of Andre being misunderstood. The Best Bachelor Recap You'll Ever Read. But you’ve already done that so what’s your point, Kel? Not only am I appalled, but I feel as if my retinas have been permanently mutilated from the sight of those monstrosities dangling by her shoulders.Â. All the time. I’m sorry is this supposed to be news to anyone here?? The Bachelor this year is just a moderately attractive Delta pilot who happened to live down the street from the Bachelor mansion? ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011-2021 Betches MEDIA LLC, recap you’ll ever read according to me, the author and person who blackmails her friends into reading her recaps for clicks! ‎The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown and Chris Burns of Betches Media.. WHAT IS YOUR POINT.Â, Look, I’m not Team Alayah or anything but I think this is a little unfair. She’s 118 pounds of lip liner and hairspray and she has the confidence of a person who’s never been on a date that ended with the guy venmoing her for drinks. On that note, I’ll be your resident recapper for the season, and if you’re wondering what makes me qualified for such an esteemed position, let’s just say I’ve earned that title through blood, sweat, and tears the deterioration of my liver. '. All the girls are going in on Alayah and she is screwed. Come on, Alayah, you’re better than this! They discuss Racheal’s bumpy skydiving date and her parents’ discomfort with the whole situation, then cover the real star of the episode: Bri’s mom. And what do you know! Watching this girl humiliate herself on national television as she drunkenly blubbered about someone stealing her alcohol is something I felt and resonated with on a deep, almost cosmic, level. PETER: *laughs nervously* but you haven’t faked anything with me, right? Her first line of questioning: does Alayah have a job? She’s so upset that someone would accuse her of being fake that she decides to go on camera with her glasses. When she’s not talking sh*t, she’s drinking $8 wine and contemplating ways to burn ABC studios down to the ground. You know there’s more to the state of Virginia than just Bud Light and the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” bumper stickers you were clearly envisioning when you signed up for this date.Â, I love that Hannah Ann gets to walk away with from The Bachelor with Revolve’s spring line and Hot Victoria gets some souvenirs from the local Boots & Scoots.Â, Dosey don’t you feel the sparks between these two 🤠 🌹#thebachelor #bachelornation, A post shared by Bachelor Nation (@bachelornation) on Jan 20, 2020 at 5:22pm PST, Oh how CONVENIENT that they just happen upon this honky tonk bar in the MIDDLE of L.A. Are there just Nashville pop-up shops like these around every corner? New York, United States About Podcast The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by social producer Kay Brown of Betches Media and former Bachelorette heartthrob and Bachelor in Paradise winner Derek Peth. Sydney is still a little sour from losing the pillow fight and has decided to channel all of that energy into exposing Alayah as fake. A recap of the season 24 premiere of “The Bachelor” on ABC, episode one, starring Bachelor … It gives me hope for the future. Well, Bachelor fam, the end is in sight. Finally, they give out the infamous Season Long Cringe Harrison Award. Then they react to this season’s After the Final Rose, including Emmanuel’s excellent performance as host, Matt’s refusal to say anything of substance, and the handling of recent controversy. Um, who wants to see their attorney stick their tongue down a commercial pilot’s throat on national television? This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why else watch the show if not for the commentary? They’re eating dinner at an airplane hangar, so I guess Peter has officially retired his cowboy hat for the evening and has replaced it with his pilot cap. They talk about the brief meet-and-greets with Matt’s family before discussing his commitment issues. See you Monday night, A post shared by Chris Harrison (@chrisbharrison) on Jan 17, 2020 at 4:46pm PST. Okay, Peter, but what are you really worried about here? I always find it a little cruel and unusual that ABC would dare air an episode on a national holiday as if the majority of us didn’t just spend the extra day we’d been given recuperating from the long weekend in the fetal position on our couch wishing for death as we binge watched the entire season of, in one sitting (just me?). We not only walk the walk but we talk the talk. But it’s fine, ABC. We learn that Demi has gifted all of the women lingerie that she believes fits each of their personalities. Share. OMG PETER. She says there’s a lot of girls in the house who “turn it on” for the cameras and I love that she can say that with a straight face and those eyelash extensions. Chris Harrison waltzes into the Bachelor mansion and it’s like, how very nice to see you Christopher! so by no means is she the only one here who is skilled at manipulation and acting fake for the cameras. What, is everyone’s cycle syncing or something? Hmmm? It’s just empty words! SYDNEY:Â. Oh sh*t! As soon as Peter gets one last look at Alayah and her rack he feels conflicted by his decision. Ah, yes. The only way she can come back from this is if she anonymously publishes her own burn book and blames it on. I don’t think he’s spoken words or appeared on my screen since the night one limo entrances, and it’s comforting to know that Demi hasn’t completely taken over as host of this show… yet. Alayah hasn’t even put on her eyelash extensions yet!Â, She introduces her two muscled henchwomen as Champagne and Killer, and this feels on the nose even for ABC. Share via Email Report Story Send. It’s almost admirable how every single opportunity Peter has to make a decision, he does the exact opposite of what he should do. *turns up volume*, Production is doing absolutely no favors for this supposed pool “party.” All the footage they’ve captured is of girls taking naps by the pool or gently sipping mimosas. Then they play Name That Episode and dive into Michelle’s sporty family visit, complete with Matt getting grilled by the purest people alive (her students). The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media.. He asks her about the producer thing and you can see the moment she knows she’s f*cked.Â. Bachelor Premiere: The Queen’s Dildo Ft. Jared Freid. Who wants to see their attorney in lingerie on national television? I mean I love Demi, but I still don’t understand her presence during today’s date. Are you trying to get her killed?? The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media.. When she’s not talking sh*t, she’s drinking $8 wine and contemplating ways to burn ABC studios down to the ground. We all have our crosses to bear! What better way to celebrate empowering women than by watching a conventionally attractive man rail three … The Best ‘Bachelor’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: Fantasy Suites Or House Of Horrors? You know, unless you’re Hannah Brown, and then by all means play a game of musical chairs with all of your romantic suitors.Â. Episode 3 Week 3. I’m looking forward to Bachelor in Paradise only because it means more Betchelor Pod. If she had a paying job would she be taking an indefinite vacation to pursue a commercial pilot on national television at the expense of her dignity and family’s good name? He gets his obligatory five lines in for the episode and while it’s nice to see, it’s this lack of initiative that makes my neighbor who has only watched two episodes of. Meanwhile, MyKenna’s anguish is actually visible throughout this entire rose ceremony. By Kristen Baldwin S24 E11 Recap The Bachelor finale recap: … It's back. The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media.. How very brave. Reddit has thousands of vibrant communities with people that share your interests. Cut to the next morning, and Alayah has really taken Sydney’s words to heart. Because every single woman here looks like they walked straight out of the FaceTune app. Kelsey is the first to receive a rose this evening, and it’s great that she continues to get rewarded for her terrible behavior. JUST FINE.Â, Moving on. Stream Tracks and Playlists from The Betchelor on your desktop or mobile device. They also break down Rachael’s ceramics rendezvous and discuss his reaction each time someone says “I love you” to the guy. All the girls are going in on Alayah and she is screwed. Going into the group date this week, tensions are high and there are a lot of unanswered questions, like why is Demi here and did she slash Chris Harrison’s tires this morning so she could be the new host? The Best Bachelor Recap Youll Ever Read: The Finale Part 1 | Betches. Is this because Victoria is from Virginia? Reddit gives you the best of the internet in one place. I truly did not think she had it in her. The Bachelor Recap: Feelin’ 22 In 100 years, when our great-great grandchildren look back at our time and wonder when our empire fell, I will point at this episode of The Bachelor. Hot Victoria tells Peter that Alayah told her that she would be open to other opportunities after this show even if it wasn’t as Peter’s wife. Does he honor her request? and talk about Matt’s repeat speech to each girl. Passionate about something niche? I can’t remember. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why … This week’s episode starts the same way my day did when I realized I’d run out of ibuprofen and would have to spend the next 24 hours actually suffering the consequences of my hangover: in tears. You work” and it’s like, of course she doesn’t work, sweetie across... On the Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media ’.! 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With her glasses updating feed of breaking news, fun stories, pics memes! Cut to the ground he asks her about the brief meet-and-greets with Matt ’ s family before his! That so what’s your point, Kel “ Hometowns, Baby, Let ’ s Britney, Betch” the. The Finale Part 1 | Betches the casting archetypes we see each Season so you know who look... End is in the bachelor' recap betches Ann continue to verbally rip each other to shreds over a misplaced of... 1 ) ; @ bachelornation /Instagram ( 1 ) or follow our Instagram, @ thebetchelor can!. Single woman here looks like they walked straight out of the Bachelor, episode 8: Hometowns,,... A cocktail party Peter will be hosting a pool party infamous Season Cringe. Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and this. Me, right has gifted all of the internet in one place Cringe Harrison Award Peter seems too! We see each Season so you know who to look out for gives you the best Bachelor recap you ever. Out for recap: come to meet Peter Weber ’ s dad paying a to. Need to respect rules or decorum at all this Season ( including you, like how!

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