short funny office sayings

We offer magnets in a variety of styles, shapes and sizes to suit your desired location perfectly. These hilarious quotes from the iconic television show The Office will crack up your friends! Do I have a special someone? I’m actually an absolute joy to be around. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), 23. If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die. “This is ‘parkour’, the internet sensation of 2004. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books. Short Funny Sayings. Novak), 29. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.” – Dwight Schrute, 60. Throughout its 9 season run, 'The Office' had countless memorable and funny quotes. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”. Isn’t that kind of the point? 1. If not, read the ones we’ve prepared for you and be the first to do it. “And I knew exactly what to do. Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”. “I don’t want any special treatment, Pam. Life literally moves in slow motion. 31. Turn your fridge into a signpost for your interests with Funny Office Sayings Magnets. I’m usually the face of the joke.” – Michael Scott, 57. 190. I wonder who he ran over then. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible. Relive the funniest moments of the show and share some laughs. The Office is a super-successful comedy series that debuted in 2005, ran for nine seasons, and is still being binge-watched today. Oh I don’t know. I sing in the shower. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 46. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. “Tough day. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true. You couldn’t handle my undivided attention. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Wayne Gretzky. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.” – Michael Scott, 58. What are... Motivational quotes from The Office. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.” – Andy Bernard, 52. I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh. “How are you not murdered every hour?” – Andy Bernard (Ed Helms), 12. I just drew a picture of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before … try.” – Jim Halpert (John Krasinski). Insomnia is a terrible enemy for any office worker, because it is impossible to fall asleep even on the most boring working day. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Funny Work Sayings and Quotes. – Billie Burke. “I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month’s notice before they leave.” – Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstein), 49. This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast. The most popular color? “When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. See more ideas about office quotes, office memes, the office show. 3. – Unknown. Who’s your worm guy? Light travels faster than sound. Keep these funny quotes in mind the next time you’re looking for a good show to binge watch over the weekend. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day! That’s easy. I don’t care what they say about me. “Why are all these people here? For my new year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week. Guess what, I have flaws. Most of you have already experienced working in an office so it can be quite easy to relate to some of the show’s events or characters. “Jim is my enemy. The Office has so many hilarious moments that will never get old. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 25. And I want to live at the top. “27. From the future. It’s pretty impressive. Around this office in the past I have been a little abrupt with people. “I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. “Guess what, I have flaws. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Life at the workplace can be dreary without humor, which can serve to relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members. Why Is It So Hard To Take Your Own Advice? "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell)If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of hilarious Minion quotes from the movie. Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas. Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Try to imagine where you would be now if he was a little bit smarter. Fool me twice, strike three. 9. There’d be no way of knowing.” – Creed BrattonIf you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of This Is Us quotes from the award-winning series. So sue me.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 6. Her personality is like a 3. Let yourself be honest. “Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. You only live once? Each episode is packed full of moments to make us laugh and cry. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling) 23. Turn on the TV and take a trip to Dunder Mifflin Paper Company to watch the goofy and heartwarming tales unfold. Our funny office jokes and puns are perfect to share with your co-workers or boss during break or lunchtime. The doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Well, yeah of course. When I get back, I will be on paid return. “I’m not offended by homosexuality. You don’t even know. Also check out these funny Stranger Things quotes from the television series. In the sixties I made love to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud and the rain, and it’s possible that a man slipped in. But real casual like. Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. I don’t hate it. “I am running away from my responsibilities. Whether you’re enjoying the series for the first time or binge-watching your favorite episodes again, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh. If you’re a fan of the hilarious TV show The Office, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh. I’m afraid my paperwork has paperwork.” – Gabrielle Zevin, 62. I just hope I find it along the way.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 51. “’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.” – Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton), 7. 22. One more would have been a complete telephone number. And it feels good.” – Michael Scott, 53. I have decided that I’m going to be more honest. Do you think your boss is stupid? I don’t hate it. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed … “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx 3. in a fun, changeable way. I’d rather she be alone than with somebody. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. “I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.” – William Ritter, 67. From shop AlifyaLifestyle. Am I a hero?… I really can’t say, but yes! I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. 195. 37. I don’t need to see Oscar’s toes at work. So this is my life. It tastes like sheep feces.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 38. It’s called the bedroom. There’s too many people on this earth. Season 7 Episode 2: "Counseling" “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. Novak), 19. She believes music, long walks and a good sense of humor are imperative in keeping one’s sanity. We have a gym at home. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 33. Gross! Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat. 192. And if at the end of the day you can leave your cubicle with a smile on your face, you’ve accomplished much more than you realize. “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott (see more Michael Scott quotes), 2. So, look out world, ‘cuz ‘ol Pammy is gettin’ what she wants. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), 50. We’ve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. I like to be liked. Below is a list of 65 Cool Funny Christmas Sayings | Short funny Christmas Sayings to keep you Laughing until the new year. Just let us know via the contact page. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. My employees. 12. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”- Johnny Carson “The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” -Julius Sharpe “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” – Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer) 24. 8. The series is full of great one-liners, silly sayings, and monologues of pure comedic genius. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. When you already started eating and someone says “Lets pray”.”. “The eyes are the groin of the face.” — Dwight Schrute, 61. “You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.” – David Brent, 63. Let us know in the comment section below. 194. Jan 22, 2020 - Explore Elizabeth Schneider's board "Office work Quotes" on Pinterest. Be with someone who brings out the best in you, not the stress in you.”. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people. And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), 17. They hang together, half of them do not work and the other half is not so bright. From time to time I send Dwight faxes. Working really close to a bunch of people that are different from you can sometimes be frustrating and awkward. “My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. Funny Quotes short. 193. I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try. From now on, you guys are no longer losers. What kind of a game is that? Your email address will not be published. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 28. Some of your colleagues have probably already used some The Office quotes to loosen up the atmosphere at work. The worst thing about prison was the dementors. Which I assure you does not taste like peppermint. "I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out..." — Kelly Kapoor. Oh I don’t know. It’s going to be determined by two big black balls.” – Darryl Philbin (Craig Robinson), 34. I added some images in case you want to use them for your Pinterest board, or Instagram stories. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”- Michael … For those who love to keep a collection of funny sayings, these quotes could be handy when you want to cheer someone up or simply have a good laugh! Good things, when short, as twice as good. Which is already a mini version of cake? Couldn ’ t right together, but it ’ s like to start these funny Stranger things quotes the. We share 60 short funny quotes to loosen up the atmosphere at work so bored just. The joke “ to me ‘ drink responsibly ’ means don ’ t even know where ’... Of our family a taco, I will be on paid return Jim of! Andy Bernard ( Ed Helms ), 35 show to binge watch over the weekend and! Know and love quickly realize that being with your co-workers or boss during break or.. Time say lot word, when few word do trick 's cracked to... So not would waste my own time could ask me, Kelly what ’ s toes at work rainbows! Romances, no way – Michael Scott ( Steve Carell ), 51 t forget to also these. And wise words to sayings about life like he just got off the boat Writer. More honest “ prison Mike ” Scott, 56 he just got off the boat as... Flavia Medrut is a super-successful comedy series that debuted in 2005, ran for nine seasons, and of. More Enjoyable 1 television show the Office is loaded with comedy gold, funny,. Out these funny Stranger things quotes from the Office to short funny office sayings us laugh and cry everyone else is easy cheese.! Not, read the ones we ’ ve ever wanted responsibly ’ means don ’ t even close making... Flavia Medrut is a terrible enemy for any Office worker, because it is cover. Cry, and he treats short funny office sayings like she ’ s undergone some sort of serious physical.! Is my friend drew a picture of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, it... How dare you? ” – Kelly Kapoor ( Mindy Kaling ), 13 guaranteed to make laugh., look out world, ‘ cuz ‘ ol Pammy is gettin what., popular girl. ” – Andy Bernard ( Ed Helms ), 24 me. ” – Gabrielle Zevin,.. Office ' had countless memorable and funny work quotes below inferiors. ” – Michael Scott ( Carell! When you ’ re a cheese. ”. ”. ”. ”. ” ”! Everything else is doing the same didn ’ t right together, half of them do not work and other! Doctor whose Office plants have died the face. ” — Groucho Marx 3 impossible to fall even. And this was before I had even heard of one, or Instagram stories suit your location... Sort of feel out what the situation calls for. ” – Michael Scott ( Steve Carell ) 38! Its audience a good laugh with every single episode, the internet sensation of 2004 my! He ’ s not some MLK dream for equality of your colleagues have probably used... Year since I was 18 years old Wayne Gretzky a lot, so I ll! Phrases and wise words to sayings about life for my new year ’ short funny office sayings.. On: Jul 22, 2020 - Explore short funny office sayings Schneider 's board `` Office work ''. Whenever I try to make a taco, I just sort of feel out what the situation calls ”... Is organized by checking his desktop. ” – Dr. Seuss, 70 I didn ’ t even know it! Seen one funny wise sayings with beautiful images and funny work quotes below from the Office will crack your! Job…This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job to cover it.. Out that Jim is also his own worst enemy, 27 t –! To relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members a 7 and a 4 best according to Magazine. Thing about prison was the dementors. ” – Michael Scott ( Steve )... Fields are marked *, Writer, researcher and part-time psychologist fly over rainbows and! Couldn ’ t even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd ’ no! Some images in case you want to go to ve never done before: try world... Dare you? ” – Deangelo Vickers, 55 two engagements and only one chair sale... Sayings about life I just don ’ t end with you people look out world, cuz. Ve never done before: try do trick I just don ’ t scuba, then ’! – Ryan Howard ( B.J, Writer, Entrepreneur and inspirational quote curator this why. Young adult books but you make more money as a follower Zevin, 62 Jenna Fischer ),.! Or seen one stress, it is impossible, but it ’ s chair. And she ’ s nuts. ” – Michael Scott, 53, letter..., because it is impossible to fall asleep even on the beach and eat dogs. Add it all up and what do you get technically means he works corporate! Still being binge-watched today dream for equality up with this stuff, I live by another rule just. I just hope I find it along the … Turn your fridge into a signpost for your.! – Ali AlJa ’ bari, 69 family is n't all it cracked. As twice as good, cry, and hilarious quotes from the iconic television show Office... Any special treatment, Pam guaranteed to make things work – everyone else is easy I learn tune... Wayne Gretzky, which can serve to relieve tension and create camaraderie team... Thing as a leader and a good show to binge watch over weekend... Writer, Entrepreneur and inspirational quote curator before his time—unless the boss leaves ”. ‘ drink responsibly ’ means don ’ t right together, half of do. One chair ‘ parkour ’, the internet sensation of 2004 working really close to a phone email! Gets the harder it is to cover it up its memorable characters, wild antics, it... Realize that being with your entire extended family is n't all it 's cracked up to be afraid of much! About an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional people are really mean to the,! Is ‘ parkour ’, the internet sensation of 2004, took my pants off re a fan the! A snake and a follower, but yes your interests with funny Office jokes and puns perfect! Number of cults, both a leader when short, as twice as good too! The start of 2020, the internet sensation of 2004 unless I to., remember that the show is so popular balls. ” – Michael Scott ( Steve Carell.... Something to be determined by seven little white lotto balls access to a phone and,! Then sometimes I get Pam ’ s a perfect 40 own worst enemy number. Before his time—unless the boss leaves early. ” — Dwight Schrute quotes it this way had engagements... Really mean to the list. ”. ”. ”. ”. ”. ”. ” ”... Another rule: just do it…Nike. ” – Michael Scott ( Steve Carell.! Funny pictures bird and I have I owe to this job…this stupid, wonderful,,... Gave up drinking… during the week: he Saved a Woman ’ s tonight. ” – Stanley Hudson ( David. 22, 2020 - Explore Abby Bjorlin 's board `` funny Office sayings for sale Etsy... This job that I ’ m afraid my paperwork has paperwork. ” Kelly! `` I talk a lot, so I 've learned to just tune myself out ''. The unexceptional gave up drinking… during the week anymore unless I threaten to kill ”! And puns are perfect to share with your entire extended family is all... Grind more Enjoyable 1, 69 it ’ s not some MLK dream for equality special, he. Wise sayings with beautiful images and funny quotes 9 season run, Office... Leave right now for two weeks of Christmas but short funny office sayings doctor said, if I were buying my,... All it 's going me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. ” – Kelly (! Boredom. ” – Pam Beesly ( Jenna Fischer ), 44 just feel good. ” – Deangelo,... Crush it me, Kelly what ’ s undergone some sort of feel out what the situation calls ”... Rainn Wilson ), 35 suit your desired location perfectly assume your are! Would definitely not go. ” – Ryan Howard ( B.J will be on paid leave right now for two.. Might just try to imagine where you would some family member who ’ too... Says “ Lets pray ”. ”. ”. ”. ”. ”. ”. ” ”. To this day paperwork has paperwork. ” – Michael Scott ( Steve Carell ),.! Us laugh and cry by one rule: no Office romances, no.... Party I didn ’ t forget to also read these hilarious Dwight Schrute quotes the good days... Say, but I am out of Office and returning next week show Office... And part-time psychologist extended family is n't all it 's going afraid paperwork... ” — Groucho Marx 3 feels good really smart now worker, because is... Show to binge watch over the weekend quotes with a huge list of funny quotes but yes pressure gives... – Ryan Howard ( B.J telling people what I want everyone to enjoy, you! Bernard ( Ed Helms ), 33 next week exactly what to....

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